I was trying to get back to my old self. I realized how I miss the 25 year old me. The carefree, high spirited, crazy blogger-wanna-be, adventure seeker, and a 42 kilo young version of me who was obsessed to gain weight and get married. And so the closest thing to get back to that time is- blogging. At least now, (andami kong time- kunwari)
I tried to retrieve my old blog but I could not open it anymore. :( The least I can do about it is to backread and laugh about my "ka corny-han" and check on my grammar errors and "kababawan". I realized how shallow I was before. The time when all I had to do was brag about my travels, and cry about my petty heartaches "kuno". So if you wanna have a laugh then you can read on my previous blog (www.lifeteasers.blogspot.com) and pls, No judging!
Fastforward to this day when everything I used to dream of, has finally come.
1. To travel to Europe- check!
2. To get married- check! Did it turn out how I used to dream of? uhm... well I guess yes it turned out how it should be, and not exactly how I thought it would be. (it is the reality vs. expectation thingy)
3. To get a baby- check! I know I kinda rushed this to happen. After getting married, I rushed to have a baby, because I thought that was the way it should be. (well, I have no regrets though, it's just that, the old tales is sooooo truuueeee! Being a mom is the hardest thing everrrrr, as in ever! Do I need to elaborate?)
Okay, I am writing today because I wanna release every inhibitions I have. No, I am not complaining about everything I am right now. I just thought that writing my heart out is like kicking the stress out of me too!
There are days, like today when I look back how my life was 7 years ago. I was 25, young and free when I started my life here abroad. I had no other worries than how to have a boyfriend, where to travel next and what to wear the next day. That was how odd my life was, or should I say, how easy breezy everything 7 years ago. And honestly speaking, I miss that-a lot!
I know I am still a newbie being a mom and a wife. I am joggling between reaching my goals and adulting. I know I am not a homebuddy person. I am not that kind of housewife material who can stay 24 hours at home without getting bored. That is the reason why I keep on missing the old me. But then again, I keep on reminding myself that a new chapter of my life now has come, and I have to embrace those changes. As much as I could, I tried to tune up myself to like baking, cooking, homemaking and mommy-harding as much as I could.
For now, I am on the stage of embracing the changes of getting married and being a mom, all at the same time. Embracing the stretchmarks, saggy tummy and post pregnancy flaws. This is life 7 years later. This life I will be missing too 7 years in the making.
Well, not everything you see in pictures is as easy as it looks, but it is as fulfilling as you can imagine. Me at 33 is so much different in all angles. Every change is beautiful no matter how hard it is. I miss my old self, but I love the new self I have become!
