Pregnancy brings a lot of changes to me, physically and emotionally. I know I prayed hard for this day to come when I will become a mother. Then finally when it all came into a real picture, I felt like I lost everything about the old me.
On a positive note, I love every single day that I am with my baby. She brings so much joy to our family. But not everything that is worth it comes easy.
THE "NO-SLEEP" DILEMMA
People who knows me well knows how free-spirited I was when I was single. I would sleep whenever I want to, and get up anytime of the day. My shopping hours were longer than my mealtimes. And of course, my sleeping time is longer than my work times. Then here comes the baby. I was trying to program myself that normally, moms would rage about their struggles at night and that it is normal. True enough, they are not just mere rants. They are for REAL. Sleeping times at night with a baby is really hard! harder than thought. The good thing on my part is that my husband is a full time partner who takes care of the baby almost the whole time at night especially when I am on duty. Yes, I am lucky. But still, my body clock went crazy. So how did I cope? I keep on telling myself that, "SLEEP IS JUST A STATE OF MIND". We don't die when we only sleep for 4 hours instead of 8 hours at night, right? So slowly, I am not so dramatic about it. Acceptance is the key.
THE UGLY NEW ME
Well yeah, after birth my self esteem went down zero! Whenever I look at myself at the mirror, I could see the post pregnancy dark lines on my neck, face, sagging tummy, ugly stretch marks and excess fats that I don't used to have. Literally, my clothes won't fit me anymore that I have to change from size XS to Large. Yes LARRGGE! How scary is that? Then you know that feeling whenever you see moms on Instagram and how they brag about their post pregnancy body? As if they never gave birth at all? arrggghh. okay, fine!
ACCEPTING YOUR FLAWS
Little by little, I finally came to a point where in I gave in. I gave up the old me. I know I can never bring back the old lifestyle I had. Every time I have to decide on one thing, I have to consider my family first. Well, I know I have so much to give up now that I am a mom. My crazy adventures, my unlimited shopping spree, my sleeping times and of course my vanity. It's always been about my baby now. Her wellbeing, daily needs and her future. So yes, I have to be a selfless mom. And that is how I have gradually accepted the fact that what I have right now is because of the path that I chose. I chose to be a mom, I chose to be a wife, and this is what it takes.
IMPROVING YOURSELF ONE STEP AT A TIME
When I finally have accepted and figured things out, I finally came out from shell and told myself that "hey, You don't have to be miserable your whole life just because you became a mom!" From there, I researched things on how to take care of my post pregnancy body. 6 months port partum, I went to the gym. Everything went fine at first. However, due to my unpredictable schedule and exhausting "mommy duties" I felt like I would die if I would go on with it. And so I told myself again that maybe baby steps would do. I skipped eating white rice, reduce my sweets intake, and exercise few hours a day. I moisturize my skin religiously everyday and today, I finally could see the glow! My body went back to shape, my skin became healthy again and I don't label myself "ugly" anymore.
Well, I know that every mom is different. Some people, especially celebrities don't need a lot of effort to bring back their old self. But this doesn't mean that some of us will take ourselves for granted already. We need to embrace our flaws in order for us to love our body. When we learn to love our body then we will know how to take care of it. Change can be difficult, but it is beautiful!
Tuesday, September 4, 2018
Saturday, August 11, 2018
Read at your own Risk
I was trying to get back to my old self. I realized how I miss the 25 year old me. The carefree, high spirited, crazy blogger-wanna-be, adventure seeker, and a 42 kilo young version of me who was obsessed to gain weight and get married. And so the closest thing to get back to that time is- blogging. At least now, (andami kong time- kunwari)
I tried to retrieve my old blog but I could not open it anymore. :( The least I can do about it is to backread and laugh about my "ka corny-han" and check on my grammar errors and "kababawan". I realized how shallow I was before. The time when all I had to do was brag about my travels, and cry about my petty heartaches "kuno". So if you wanna have a laugh then you can read on my previous blog (www.lifeteasers.blogspot.com) and pls, No judging!
Fastforward to this day when everything I used to dream of, has finally come.
1. To travel to Europe- check!
2. To get married- check! Did it turn out how I used to dream of? uhm... well I guess yes it turned out how it should be, and not exactly how I thought it would be. (it is the reality vs. expectation thingy)
3. To get a baby- check! I know I kinda rushed this to happen. After getting married, I rushed to have a baby, because I thought that was the way it should be. (well, I have no regrets though, it's just that, the old tales is sooooo truuueeee! Being a mom is the hardest thing everrrrr, as in ever! Do I need to elaborate?)
Okay, I am writing today because I wanna release every inhibitions I have. No, I am not complaining about everything I am right now. I just thought that writing my heart out is like kicking the stress out of me too!
There are days, like today when I look back how my life was 7 years ago. I was 25, young and free when I started my life here abroad. I had no other worries than how to have a boyfriend, where to travel next and what to wear the next day. That was how odd my life was, or should I say, how easy breezy everything 7 years ago. And honestly speaking, I miss that-a lot!
I know I am still a newbie being a mom and a wife. I am joggling between reaching my goals and adulting. I know I am not a homebuddy person. I am not that kind of housewife material who can stay 24 hours at home without getting bored. That is the reason why I keep on missing the old me. But then again, I keep on reminding myself that a new chapter of my life now has come, and I have to embrace those changes. As much as I could, I tried to tune up myself to like baking, cooking, homemaking and mommy-harding as much as I could.
For now, I am on the stage of embracing the changes of getting married and being a mom, all at the same time. Embracing the stretchmarks, saggy tummy and post pregnancy flaws. This is life 7 years later. This life I will be missing too 7 years in the making.
Well, not everything you see in pictures is as easy as it looks, but it is as fulfilling as you can imagine. Me at 33 is so much different in all angles. Every change is beautiful no matter how hard it is. I miss my old self, but I love the new self I have become!
I tried to retrieve my old blog but I could not open it anymore. :( The least I can do about it is to backread and laugh about my "ka corny-han" and check on my grammar errors and "kababawan". I realized how shallow I was before. The time when all I had to do was brag about my travels, and cry about my petty heartaches "kuno". So if you wanna have a laugh then you can read on my previous blog (www.lifeteasers.blogspot.com) and pls, No judging!
Fastforward to this day when everything I used to dream of, has finally come.
1. To travel to Europe- check!
2. To get married- check! Did it turn out how I used to dream of? uhm... well I guess yes it turned out how it should be, and not exactly how I thought it would be. (it is the reality vs. expectation thingy)
3. To get a baby- check! I know I kinda rushed this to happen. After getting married, I rushed to have a baby, because I thought that was the way it should be. (well, I have no regrets though, it's just that, the old tales is sooooo truuueeee! Being a mom is the hardest thing everrrrr, as in ever! Do I need to elaborate?)
Okay, I am writing today because I wanna release every inhibitions I have. No, I am not complaining about everything I am right now. I just thought that writing my heart out is like kicking the stress out of me too!
There are days, like today when I look back how my life was 7 years ago. I was 25, young and free when I started my life here abroad. I had no other worries than how to have a boyfriend, where to travel next and what to wear the next day. That was how odd my life was, or should I say, how easy breezy everything 7 years ago. And honestly speaking, I miss that-a lot!
I know I am still a newbie being a mom and a wife. I am joggling between reaching my goals and adulting. I know I am not a homebuddy person. I am not that kind of housewife material who can stay 24 hours at home without getting bored. That is the reason why I keep on missing the old me. But then again, I keep on reminding myself that a new chapter of my life now has come, and I have to embrace those changes. As much as I could, I tried to tune up myself to like baking, cooking, homemaking and mommy-harding as much as I could.
For now, I am on the stage of embracing the changes of getting married and being a mom, all at the same time. Embracing the stretchmarks, saggy tummy and post pregnancy flaws. This is life 7 years later. This life I will be missing too 7 years in the making.
Well, not everything you see in pictures is as easy as it looks, but it is as fulfilling as you can imagine. Me at 33 is so much different in all angles. Every change is beautiful no matter how hard it is. I miss my old self, but I love the new self I have become!
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