Pregnancy brings a lot of changes to me, physically and emotionally. I know I prayed hard for this day to come when I will become a mother. Then finally when it all came into a real picture, I felt like I lost everything about the old me.
On a positive note, I love every single day that I am with my baby. She brings so much joy to our family. But not everything that is worth it comes easy.
THE "NO-SLEEP" DILEMMA
People who knows me well knows how free-spirited I was when I was single. I would sleep whenever I want to, and get up anytime of the day. My shopping hours were longer than my mealtimes. And of course, my sleeping time is longer than my work times. Then here comes the baby. I was trying to program myself that normally, moms would rage about their struggles at night and that it is normal. True enough, they are not just mere rants. They are for REAL. Sleeping times at night with a baby is really hard! harder than thought. The good thing on my part is that my husband is a full time partner who takes care of the baby almost the whole time at night especially when I am on duty. Yes, I am lucky. But still, my body clock went crazy. So how did I cope? I keep on telling myself that, "SLEEP IS JUST A STATE OF MIND". We don't die when we only sleep for 4 hours instead of 8 hours at night, right? So slowly, I am not so dramatic about it. Acceptance is the key.
THE UGLY NEW ME
Well yeah, after birth my self esteem went down zero! Whenever I look at myself at the mirror, I could see the post pregnancy dark lines on my neck, face, sagging tummy, ugly stretch marks and excess fats that I don't used to have. Literally, my clothes won't fit me anymore that I have to change from size XS to Large. Yes LARRGGE! How scary is that? Then you know that feeling whenever you see moms on Instagram and how they brag about their post pregnancy body? As if they never gave birth at all? arrggghh. okay, fine!
ACCEPTING YOUR FLAWS
Little by little, I finally came to a point where in I gave in. I gave up the old me. I know I can never bring back the old lifestyle I had. Every time I have to decide on one thing, I have to consider my family first. Well, I know I have so much to give up now that I am a mom. My crazy adventures, my unlimited shopping spree, my sleeping times and of course my vanity. It's always been about my baby now. Her wellbeing, daily needs and her future. So yes, I have to be a selfless mom. And that is how I have gradually accepted the fact that what I have right now is because of the path that I chose. I chose to be a mom, I chose to be a wife, and this is what it takes.
IMPROVING YOURSELF ONE STEP AT A TIME
When I finally have accepted and figured things out, I finally came out from shell and told myself that "hey, You don't have to be miserable your whole life just because you became a mom!" From there, I researched things on how to take care of my post pregnancy body. 6 months port partum, I went to the gym. Everything went fine at first. However, due to my unpredictable schedule and exhausting "mommy duties" I felt like I would die if I would go on with it. And so I told myself again that maybe baby steps would do. I skipped eating white rice, reduce my sweets intake, and exercise few hours a day. I moisturize my skin religiously everyday and today, I finally could see the glow! My body went back to shape, my skin became healthy again and I don't label myself "ugly" anymore.
Well, I know that every mom is different. Some people, especially celebrities don't need a lot of effort to bring back their old self. But this doesn't mean that some of us will take ourselves for granted already. We need to embrace our flaws in order for us to love our body. When we learn to love our body then we will know how to take care of it. Change can be difficult, but it is beautiful!
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